BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN SELLS NAMING RIGHTS FOR E-STREET BAND-THEMED RESTAURANT

FROM THE EATONTOWN PATCH--
 

The Boss, never one to turn his back on the great state of New Jersey or its people, has signed a deal with local chef and entrepreneur Johnny Candiotti, allowing Candiotti full use of anything E-Street Band related for his new Long Branch restaurant "Candi's Room."

Candiotti, a fan who has seen Springsteen perform over 200 times, says "I was really shocked that Bruce said yes. The only contact I've ever had with Bruce was when I had first row at the Capitol Theatre in 1978, and he stepped on my hand climbing back onto the stage after Mona. This really was a surprise. The guy's a gem. He sure loves New Jersey."

The Boss himself issued this brief statement:

"Johnny's fantastic! Enthusiastic! Dynastic! Ecclesiastic!  So eat his food New Jersey!"

Items on the menu will include:

The Cadillac Ranch Burger w/Mary Queen Of Arkanslaw

Big Man's Clams On The Half Shell

Veal Federici

Meats Of Philadelphia
(Cheese-steak slider sampler, comes with a Rosa-liter of Iced Tea)

American Potato Skins
(41 Tots)

Fungal Land
(Roy Bittan's Stuffed Mushroom Platter)

Breakfast will also be served on weekends, with your usual fare of muffins, juices and coffee, as well as what Candiotti hopes will be the eatery's signature breakfast dishes.

The E-Street Waffle
(with Patti's sausage)

Eggs Weinberg
(3-minute eggs, though time may vary) 

There will be a full bar, as well as a private area for fine wines and chocolate, called "The Vino Lopez Room"
 

 

TWEEDY, WILCO CHECKING FARMER'S ALMANAC FOR SUMMER TOUR

With summer just a few months away, Jeff Tweedy is gearing up his band for a possible July-August tour, weather permitting. Seemingly unhappy with indoor, reserve seating venues these last few years, Tweedy is consulting the Farmer's Almanac for the best possible worst outdoor situations. High on Wilco's summer concert schedule, any city park in New Orleans in July and minor league baseball stadiums with the fewest exits or surrounding paved roads.

MORRISSEY FANS UNHAPPY OVER TOUR CANCELLATION

DIE-HARD FOREIGNER FAN ANNOYED NO ONE SEES THE IRONY IN HIS ARCADE FIRE SHIRT

Florida Man Finds Image Of Dave Grohl In Toast

46 year old Efrem Tondo of Gainesville, Florida has been ordering the #3 at Mackie's Diner every morning for the last 9 years. But yesterday, he got more than just extra bacon. The image of Nirvana drummer and Foo Fighters leader Dave Grohl was as clear as the butter that had been covering his toast since he was a child.

"I couldn't believe my eyes," Tondo cried. "I thought it was the Lord Savior himself, until it dawned on me that I saw the very same face on the Dave Letterman show."

Local KEPX news set up cameras at Mackie's, expecting a long line of astonished visitors and tourists, but after 4 hours, no one showed up, and Tondo slapped a piece of ham on it and finally went to work.

Cobain's widow Courtney Love was enraged by the entire debacle, and is now suing Grohl, claiming her husband the late grunge legend and Grohl's former band member Kurt Cobain had his face appear over an entire loaf of Schwebel's Rye 19 years earlier.

PURPLE LEIS

The ink on the most recent vault release from the Jimi Hendrix estate still isn't dry and there is new music already on deck. The Hendrix family, in its continuing efforts to preserve the legacy of Jimi Hendrix's music, is readying a new collection. "Foxey 'Lele" is 33 minutes of the genius guitarist playing C scales on a ukulele, backstage while Mitch Mitchell soundchecked his toms before the infamous Maui concert in 1970.

Jimi's stepsister Janie Hendrix is overseeing the project which she claims she is excited about.

DIRECTOR OF STEPHEN KING/JOHN MELLENCAMP MUSICAL REVEALS ORIGINAL PLANS

Susan V. Booth, director of "Ghost Brothers Of Darkland County," the musical collaboration between Stephen King and John Mellencamp, revealed in an interview this week that the project wasn't very high on the producer's priority list.

"To be honest," Booth explained over chops and creamed spinach at The Palm Too, "we all were really hot over this fantastic collaboration between Maya Angelou and the bass player from Eddie & The Hot Rods. Then, two more exciting projects fell in our laps, a new work based on Erica Jong's "Fear Of Flying," with music by Pitbull, and this fab piece by Toni Morrison, who had also expressed some interest in collaborating with the bass player from Eddie & The Hot Rods. But scheduling was a nightmare for all involved. So it is what it is."

During deliberations between producer and director, Stephen King finished 4 more novels and John Mellencamp delivered his new record to Ford Motors.

Oprah Winfrey, in the meantime, has been seen meeting with Maya Angelou, Toni Morrison and who she thinks might be the bass player of Eddie & The Hot Rods. Pitbull could not be reached for comment.

PLASTER DISASTER

Legendary groupie and artiste Cynthia Plaster Caster recently convinced Vampire Weekend to partake in her infamous sculptures. When she got them to drop their khakis, she was alarmed to learn that they have no genitalia at all.

"I always thought the Ken doll was an anatomically incorrect insult. These boys proved me wrong. And it might explain why all this indie music sounds ball-less."



It might also explain why Vampire Weekend wear the guitars just below their chins.

THIS JUST IN...

Radiohead's Thom Yorke to tour this summer as Principal Soloist Dancer for The Martha Graham Dance Co. with original score by Sigur Ros.

NYC MAYOR BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD

Just days after NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg's ban on large sugary drinks was struck down by a judge, the feisty Mayor is at it again. Holding a press conference in a back office of J&R Music World, Bloomberg is now trying to pass a law banning all boxed sets containing more than 4 CDs. "This is just one more example of things going too far." Bloomberg was armed and ready, citing both the Complete Blue Oyster Cult collection and the Beatles remasters, as "prime examples of excess."

The NYC Mayor was determined. He went on to explain. "The public is spending too much time with one band. This can't be a good thing. Why not 16 different CDs of different artists? They should really expand their musical experiences. Look, I don't have to tell you anything about my musical taste, but just to get you off my back, I love "The Flame" as much as the next guy," he stated while holding the chunky 14 CD Cheap Trick collection. "But staying at home and listening to 4 different versions of 'The Dreaming Police' is just not healthy. Go outside."

Vice President of the United Parcel Service Joe Gribbs, as well as Head Of Operations for Federal Express Con Czrzezwicz, flanked the NYC Mayor, supporting his ban 100%, claiming the weight of the packages, especially "those damn Bear Family boxes from Germany" are too much to handle for some of the older carriers. Gribbs was angry. "Our drivers have to break their backs because some selfish music lover needs to hear Agents Of Fortune demos? Not gonna happen, my friend."

Double CDs will still be allowed, but only if accompanying booklet is 8 pages or less.

MARCH MADNESS

The Allman Brothers continue to make rock and roll history with another sold out residency at NYC's legendary Beacon Theatre. Since this tradition began in 1989, the Brothers have played over 200 shows.  More incredible, is that drummer Jaimoe has been clinically dead for 38 of them.

STING'S RSD EXCLUSIVE

Sting is getting on the bandwagon and releasing a limited edition 7" on white vinyl for Record Store Day. The two songs are outtakes from the sessions for "Songs From The Labyrinth," his collection of 16th century lute tunes. The single will feature the plug side "Everye Breath Thou Takest" backed with "Message In A Goblet."

THE SILVERS LINING

In 2006, a custodian working for Sony Music Publishing found an old notebook containing unfinished lyrics of country legend Hank Williams in the bottom of a dumpster. In 2008, big name artists such as Bob Dylan, Elvis Costello and Norah Jones completed the songs and "The Lost Notebooks Of Hank Williams" was released. Now, 7 years later, diaries of late English singer Nick Drake were discovered behind a crate of Andy Boy broccoli in the produce aisle of a Waldbaums in Old Bridge, New Jersey. But unlike the Hank Williams notebooks, Drake's diaries did not contain unfinished lyrics, but pages and pages dedicated to his obsession with the 50's T.V. sitcom, "Sgt. Bilko."

Some of music's finest glumlords have gotten hold of the diaries and are writing songs inspired by Drake's musings. Conor Oberst, Devendra Banhart, the Fleet Foxes and Jonathan Wilson have all signed on for "The Silvers Lining," which will feature new songs about Bilko himself, Phil Silvers, as well a song cycle about Allen Melvin and Harvey Lembeck.







INSPIRED AGAIN

When actor and rock & roll enthusiast Johnny Depp revealed that his Captain Jack Sparrow character was heavily influenced by Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards, few were surprised. Wanting to recreate the success of the "Pirates Of The Caribbean" film franchise, Johnny Depp went back to that inspirational well for his upcoming role as Tonto in his new film "The Lone Ranger." For Depp's new role, he says all inspiration came from Redbone drummer, Butch Rillera.





 BECK CONTINUES GROUNDBREAKING MARKETING

Big news about Jeff Beck returning to his jazz rock heyday of "Blow By Blow" and "Wired"-- the guitar legend is set to release "Beck To The Future," 9 songs featuring the funk and fusion grooves Beck last explored in the 70s. This time around though, Beck will not be heard anywhere on the release. "Think of it as 'guitar minus one,' it's one less," he sort of explains. The record will be released with no rhythm guitar and no solos, but will come with the guitar tablature for the solos he recorded for the songs. Fans are encouraged to play the solos and upload them to YouTube. Deluxe Versions of the CD will have no bass or synthesizer backing tracks.




THIS JUST IN....

POPE FRANCIS I ASKED TO STEP DOWN AFTER CALLING MIKE LOVE AN ASSHOLE






FOLLOW THAT DAME

It doesn't get any hotter!

The long-awaited return of David Bowie is already causing an impact across the music world. Releasing his first collection of new music in ten years, Bowie has turned the industry on its ear, with across-the-board critical acclaim for "The Next Day." Possibly causing even more of a stir is its provocative album art.

Bowie has always been an innovator, and in just a week after its release, the cover of "The Next Day" has already inspired the change in art for three major releases due next month.
 
Here are the updated covers for the albums on deck by Willie Nelson, New Kids On The Block and Rod Stewart.

READERS POLL - 5 LEAST POPULAR TRIBUTE BANDS


BLOOD, SWEAT & BOLTON
(Playing the best of Michael Bolton and David Clayton-Thomas)

LABELLE & SEBASTIAN
(Twee versions of the Labelle catalogue)

REDDY! SET! BLOW!
(All brass tribute to Helen Reddy)

QUEEN LATIFAH
(The music of Queen interpreted by Phil Latifah)

TEENY TRINI LOPEZ
(All midget tribute to Trini Lopez)