FRUSTRATED TODD RUNDGREN FAN KICKSTARTS CAMPAIGN-HOPES TO RAISE $20K TO OVERSEE RUNDGREN'S ACTIVITIES

With the recent release of yet another misguided record from rock legend Todd Rundgren, frustrated fan Darby Densmore of Staten Island has decided to take matters into his own hands. He is launching a Kickstarter campaign to raise $20,000. This money will be given to Rundgren to do as he pleases.

Densmore explains:

"I think the majority of Todd fans will agree, the boy needs to be watched. I don't care what he does with the money. He could buy a car, load up on spam and poi...they like that in Hawaii. Buy new clothes. Doesn't matter. In return, I want a signed notarized document that states he will throw away his laptop and only use real musicians on his next album."

This move by Densmore, a lifelong Rundgren fan and supporter who has seen the artist perform over 300 times, is unprecedented.

"You know I'm following Todd for like 40 years and I'm the idiot because I want to hear The Verb To Love in concert. He brings his A-game to Daryl Hall's house. He brings his A-game to Amsterdam so the orchestra won't get mad. I see him live and he brings a space pod, a helmet, a toaster and he starts rapping. I've had it."

Todd Rundgren's new electronica CD "State" is a collection of tunes recorded on a laptop computer. An exasperated Densmore says, "This is the last straw. I have tickets to see 14 of the 19 shows this tour. But this record sucks so bad, I'm probably only going to go to 11 of them."

KINKS REUNION STALLED AGAIN

Looks like the oft-rumoured reunion of the Brothers Davies has been put back on hold. Dave Davies has just begun production on a new biopic that will run well into 2015, according to the film's producers.  Davies has been signed on as the lead in "Tallulah: The Tallulah Bankhead Story."

Ray Davies could not be reached for comment, as he was busy recording bouzouki versions of the songs from "Muswell Hillbillies."

In related news, legendary Yes keyboardist Rick Wakeman has just signed on for "The Eleanor Roosevelt Story.

Metal Machine Music, Too?

Unhappy with the mostly negative response to "Lulu," his collaboration with Metallica, Lou Reed is giving heavy metal one more shot. Lou Reed has returned to the studio with another heavy metal monster, GWAR.

It was announced this week that title of the album will be "Yvonne." It has also been revealed that this album will be the second and final part of Lou's song cycle based on the marriages of Maurice Gibb.

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN SELLS NAMING RIGHTS FOR E-STREET BAND-THEMED RESTAURANT

FROM THE EATONTOWN PATCH--
 

The Boss, never one to turn his back on the great state of New Jersey or its people, has signed a deal with local chef and entrepreneur Johnny Candiotti, allowing Candiotti full use of anything E-Street Band related for his new Long Branch restaurant "Candi's Room."

Candiotti, a fan who has seen Springsteen perform over 200 times, says "I was really shocked that Bruce said yes. The only contact I've ever had with Bruce was when I had first row at the Capitol Theatre in 1978, and he stepped on my hand climbing back onto the stage after Mona. This really was a surprise. The guy's a gem. He sure loves New Jersey."

The Boss himself issued this brief statement:

"Johnny's fantastic! Enthusiastic! Dynastic! Ecclesiastic!  So eat his food New Jersey!"

Items on the menu will include:

The Cadillac Ranch Burger w/Mary Queen Of Arkanslaw

Big Man's Clams On The Half Shell

Veal Federici

Meats Of Philadelphia
(Cheese-steak slider sampler, comes with a Rosa-liter of Iced Tea)

American Potato Skins
(41 Tots)

Fungal Land
(Roy Bittan's Stuffed Mushroom Platter)

Breakfast will also be served on weekends, with your usual fare of muffins, juices and coffee, as well as what Candiotti hopes will be the eatery's signature breakfast dishes.

The E-Street Waffle
(with Patti's sausage)

Eggs Weinberg
(3-minute eggs, though time may vary) 

There will be a full bar, as well as a private area for fine wines and chocolate, called "The Vino Lopez Room"
 

 

TWEEDY, WILCO CHECKING FARMER'S ALMANAC FOR SUMMER TOUR

With summer just a few months away, Jeff Tweedy is gearing up his band for a possible July-August tour, weather permitting. Seemingly unhappy with indoor, reserve seating venues these last few years, Tweedy is consulting the Farmer's Almanac for the best possible worst outdoor situations. High on Wilco's summer concert schedule, any city park in New Orleans in July and minor league baseball stadiums with the fewest exits or surrounding paved roads.

MORRISSEY FANS UNHAPPY OVER TOUR CANCELLATION

DIE-HARD FOREIGNER FAN ANNOYED NO ONE SEES THE IRONY IN HIS ARCADE FIRE SHIRT